We're talking MARRIAGE! Again.
Two weeks ago, I got this cutie to help me share some thoughts on figuring out if he/she is the one. You guys seemed to approve of my helper. :) I asked him to come back today for Part II. We came up with a list of marriage tips we want to share with you.
I must tell you that I feel like a professional when it comes to knowing if or when your boyfriend is THE ONE, but this whole marriage thing isn't something I'm an expert on. Tab and I work hard all the live long day to be good at this thing called marriage. Please know as you're reading I do NOT think I'm an expert on marriage, but I'm sharing things that work for us. (And I'd love for you to comment and share things that work for you as well.)
At our wedding, we had one of those anniversary dances. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? Every couple gets out on the dance floor and the DJ calls out years, "If you've been married for less than five years, you can be seated." And on and on again until just a few couples remain. During our big dance the last couple dancing was Tab's grandparents. I can't remember now how long they'd been married at the time but the DJ went over with a microphone and asked them for their best piece of marriage advice. Tab's grandpa responded this way, "The man should always have the last word- Yes, ma'am". :) It was at that exact moment I knew his grandfather would always be one of my favorite people.
I'd like to end the marriage advice right there. Men...you get the last word and it must ALWAYS be, "Yes, ma'am".
haha! I kid. #andiwish
Tab and Erika's Marriage Tips:
*Work It Out
Tab and I are NOT perfect. We disagree. We argue. We don't always see things the same way, but let me tell you what we DO do...we work it out. If we're disagreeing about something we COMMUNICATE and come to a compromise or agreement.
*No Score Keeping
Right after I had Ebby Lee (and quickly became pregnant with Nixon), I began staying at home while Tab held down the financial fort. I must tell you staying at home with two littles was tough. I did this a lot..."I fed him the last bottle", "I've already changed five dirty diapers today", "I cooked dinner while holding a baby" when he got home from work. I was a SCORE KEEPER and I forgot NOTHING! I was only thinking about all the things I was doing. Was I taking into consideration the fact that Tab was working hard every day to make sure we had a shelter over our heads? Absolutely not! Thankfully, I figured out my score keeping was doing no one any good and I stopped.
Think about your spouse and put yourself in his/her shoes every once in a while. I try my best now to thank Tab whenever I can for all the things he does I know he'd prefer not to do. For instance, during the summer when I'm at the pool with our kiddos I'll send him a sweet text thanking him for working hard so I can be hanging at the pool with our kids. Would he rather be at the office or at the pool? Hmmm....that's a tough one. ha!
We are human. We're gonna mess up, so when your spouse does-forgive him/her and move on. I must add...I'm talking about inconsequential things. Don't hold a grudge about something small. Life is short...forgive and move on.
*Keep God in the Center
Do you guys remember this image from youth group or college days? I do! But I must add that it's so true! When my spiritual walk is suffering, my marriage usually isn't the best it can be either. They go hand in hand. Tab and I do our best to keep our relationship with Christ as the number one priority. That helps everything else fall into place.
*Speak His/Her Love Language
Have you read Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages book? It's a must-read. The book helps you identify ways you and your spouse feel the most loved. After reading you can try your best to incorporate more of your spouses love language into the daily. If you're like Tab and I, then my love language is the ONE language he just doesn't get. Of course that's how it goes, right? I'm a gifts kind of girl. If I know you took the time to THINK about me and then ACT on it by purchasing me something....WHOA, I'm feeling loved! This has been hard because Tab is the extreme polar opposite of a gift guy. We're working our way to a good place on this one. #workinprogress
*Stay Connected (Wink, wink)
I'm not getting graphic because my mom and grandma read here, but I think you get it. :) Mamas to littles...I remember being in your shoes. You are tired when you put your little people to sleep, but trust me-your marriage needs this! That's all I can say about this topic without blushing more than I already am at this moment. #sorrygrandma
Again...we are NOT experts, but we try our best everyday to make our marriage a priority. We're in this for the long haul so we want to make it good. Right?
I would LOVE to hear your marriage tips. Please, please, please SHARE them with us! And we'd love to do a "We're Talking Marriage Part III". Do you guys have questions we could answer? A Marriage Q and A sounds fun, huh? Please leave us questions in the comments or e-mail us @firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thanks for stopping by today! XOXO