Monday, May 2, 2016

We're Talking Marriage

Do I have a special surprise for you?!?  Yes, yes, I do!!  

Today, I have THE luckiest guy ever here to talk to you about marriage.  Why is he so lucky you ask?  Well, because he's married to me.  :)  I kid.

A couple readers suggested I do a few blog posts on marriage and who better to help me with that than my better half himself?  TAB!  

This is gonna be a two-parter.  Today, we're talking how to know if he/she is "THE ONE".  And later this month, we'll be sharing some of our marriage tips (and we'd love for you to share yours).

I mean that would seal the deal, right?

And that's saying something. :)


We're talking FOR REAL, girls!  If you're dating someone, how do you know when or if he's THE ONE?

We're both going to share our stories of how we "knew" and then we have a few tips...

"In college, I dated a few guys before meeting Tab and all of those relationships were hard.  I mean sometimes they'd call when they said they were going to and sometimes they didn't.  None of those relationships were serious, but they just weren't easy. 

When Tab and I began dating, it was VERY different.  From the beginning, when he said he was going to do something, he did it.  It could be as simple as calling or meeting up with me at a certain time.  From the beginning, I was a priority in his life and there was instant trust.

I wish you guys could all meet him over the blog somehow, but Tab is crazy fun.  He's super personable and can talk to anyone!  He had my family and I falling in love with him so quickly.  

I don't want to use the term..."I just knew", but it's kind of true.  There wasn't an ounce of hesitation about marrying Tab.  I knew God had his hand all up in the middle of our relationship and I couldn't wait to be his wife.

When we met we were both seniors in college, so at that point we both knew what we were looking for in a future spouse.  Things progressed rather quickly, eight months later we were engaged.  We got married about five months after that."-Erika

"Before meeting Erika, I had never officially had a 'girlfriend'.  I dated some in high school and college, of course, but just never felt the need to have a girlfriend.  I always thought I'd meet my future wife in college, but with one semester to go I'd pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I would graduate single.  Then God intervened. 

From the start, I knew Erika was beautiful and fun, but there was just something different about her.  That difference was her relationship with Christ, which was very important to me when looking for a wife.  

After dating for a couple months, it was clear to me she was the girl I was gonna marry.  Or at least I was going to ask!  I know that sounds simple, but it's the truth.  I prayed about it often and can honestly say I was totally, 100% sure she was the one."  -Tab


A few of our tips on 
"How to Know if He's the One"...

*If dating him is difficult, marriage will be even tougher.  Your dating life should be easy.  When you add kids, jobs, and laundry things are going to get a whole lot tougher.  Trust me.  :)

*If you have some hesitations, there's probably a reason for that.  Try to figure out what those reasons are and be honest with yourself.  Are you having hesitations because he's just not the right guy, you're trying to make him someone he just isn't, or something completely different?

*There are RARE circumstances where families just don't click with great guys, but what does your family think?  If he clashes with everyone in your family, then there might be a reason for that.

*Does he make you a priority in his life?  Or are you the fall back?

*How's the TRUST in your relationship?

*Does your faith match up?  I know a few rare situations where the guy wasn't a believer or church-goer, he got married to a Christian woman, he became a Christian who lived his life for Christ, and they lived happily ever after.  That situation is RARE, ladies!  If you want a Christian husband, you're going to need to have a Christian boyfriend.  Do you remember the example in your youth group of two people on a step and the person on the top steps tries to pull the other person up?  It's pretty impossible, but so much easier for the person on the bottom step to pull the person down.  Just remember that visual. :)

If you have any helpful tips with knowing if he/she is THE ONE, please leave a comment and share with us all!

Thanks for stopping by, today and a SPECIAL thanks to my partner-in-crime for helping me out today!  XOXO

26 comments:

Kate Hofer said...

The Faith thing is so so important. My husband and I were just talking about how lucky we feel in our marriage. We realized it's 100% because we have a Christian marriage and, unlike a ton of our friends, it's not a point of contention. I always get so annoyed when one of them says "well I don't want to go to HER church" ... you should have figured this out a long time ago people! :)

Sarah Shaneyfelt said...

I was in a relationship in college where the guy couldn't handle a disagreement, and if we did disagree, he would raise his voice and start yelling. After I broke up with him, I know that being able to handle a disagreement without yelling would be high on my list. My number one thing I looked for was a man of God. I knew my husband was the one when we would disagree about something or get in an argument and he would be over it 5 seconds later and I would be the one who was still mad haha! Then he would try to get me to laugh--that's when I knew I had found the one I needed to marry!
Sarah at MeetTheShaneyfelts

Narci said...

Your tips were spot on, girl!! What a great resource for the single girls!! Xo

Mix and Match Mama said...

I don't know how to explain it...but when you know, you know. There are no doubts. You just know. I'm so blessed to get to watch and learn from your marriage. Both of you are so committed to the Lord, each other and your kids. It's a blessing to know you guys as a couple :).

Kim said...

What a great post! Marriage is hard, but if you have an awesome partner you can get through it! We celebrate 10 years in July, it's been a crazy 10 years but I wouldn't have it any other way :)

Regine Karpel said...

Love.
www.rsrue.blogspot.com

Sheaffer {Pinterest Told Me To} said...

What a sweet post, but it gives a lot of great information too! And I loved hearing Tab's thoughts! xoxo :)

Sara Lynn said...

I love this post, it is SO great! I wanted to say though I am one of those rare situations. My Fiance and I almost didn't date because he wasn't a believer BUT I invited him to church and God did the rest. We now both go every Sunday (almost), in life groups and volunteer! :) God is good!!

Kelly Kost said...

Oh I love this Erika!! Such a great post! I agree a Christ must be the center of your relationship!

Liz F. said...

What a super post! I agree with what you said about it needing to be 'easy' prior to meeting my husband I was prone to making excusing in my head for my boyfriends, "oh he must be really busy", etc. With my husband he made me a priority and even during his busiest/highest stress times, created opportunities to connect with me. You also have to look at what your life is likely to be in 10 years and picture how your potential spouse copes. Lots of people 'like' kids but not everyone will roll up their sleeves and get into the trenches of childcare. And yes shared faith is #1!!! Liz @ familyoffoley.wordpress.com

Skye said...

Love this!!

Faith is #1!

http://butterfliesandpinksunsets.blogspot.com/2016/04/the-yo-yo-jordan.html?m=1

Kathy Lang said...

Great post! I knew my husband was a keeper when he made me a priority in his life, even when it wasn't easy--important relationships take effort. I believe it's necessary to be honest with yourself when your dating intentionally (looking for a spouse). If there are red flags do NOT ignore them or make excuses. I am so guilty of that in previous relationships. My husband was raised in a traditional church--believed in God and Jesus as savior, but had never truly understood the personal relationship part until we dated and got married. It was one of my happiest moments when I watched him get baptized in Christ!

Lisa Black said...

Yes!! Easy!! Dating, then marrying my husband was the easiest, yet best decisions of my life! Pride is another good one. There is absolutely no room for pride in a marriage! Just check it at the door. And most importantly, pray for your marriage. If it was left up to us, we'd screw it up for sure, but with God in control, it takes off so much pressure. He wants your marriage to thrive, so give it to him....another easy decision to make!

You and your hubby are adorable! Congrats and good luck on this beautiful thing we call life! :)

Olivia said...

Completely agree especially with faith being the same and that dating should be easy...life only gets tougher. People always told me to "marry your best friend" and I think that is true. good post Erika...and we really liked Tab meeting him for the first time...definitely easy to talk to and you can tell he has a good time no matter what!

Amber said...

Awesome post! Faith is always #1. My husband and I had great examples of what marriage should be from both set of parents. And it is true - you just know. We've been married for 10 years and dated for 9! Eek...we've been together 1/2 of our lives. Thanks for sharing!

Queen In Between said...

Love this! You guys are obviously meant to be but it's so obvious you have made each other a priority too. Love that little visual.

Kara said...

I love this! Such great answers from both of you.

Megan said...

Love love love this!!! And I totally agree on the fact that it should be easy!! Can't wait to read part 2!

Meagan Ruse said...

Love this post! You two are a beautiful example to your kids and your friends ❤️

Stacy said...

This is an awesome post! I met my husband in a little later in life than you did (I was 27) but the time line was the similar. Fourteen months after we met, we were married. I never doubted for a minute that he was the guy for me. When I introduced him to my family, my mom took me aside and asked if I was going to marry him--and this was after dating for only 2 weeks!

Elaine Welte said...

Loved this post! When you said Tab was super personable and could talk to anyone I found myself nodding.... That's one thing I remember about him from college. He was always talking to someone, always smiling.

Jen Arthur said...

I LOVE hearing all about how couples ended up together, it's just so sweet! My husband and I grew up together from the age of 14, so we've now known each other over half our lives! It's crazy to think about that!
xo, jen@ www.bellenbrooks.com

Erika Slaughter said...

Yes, that's such a tough conversation to have after marriage. Definitely should have been agreed upon before.

Erika Slaughter said...

That's a great one!! Thanks for adding to the list!

Karen said...

When my husband and I started dating, I was able to talk to him about hard stuff. He made it easy. I guess this was when I realized I trusted him. I hadn't had that in previous relationships.

Lisa said...

Erika, this is GREAT!!!! You are so right about this. I just emailed it to my 21 year old son and 18 year old daughter and asked them to read it as part of my Mother's Day gift. They need to hear all of this from someone besides me.
Thank you
XOXO
Lisa
Http://CoasttoCoast2.blogspot.com